Sunday, January 8, 2012

so they won't need me

"We feed children in order that they may soon be able to feed themselves; we teach them in order that they may soon not need our teaching. Thus a heavy task is laid upon this Gift-love. It must work towards its own abdication. We must aim at making ourselves superfluous. The hour when we can say 'They need me no longer' should be our reward." CS Lewis The Four Loves




Though it sounds a little harsh, one of the best pieces of advice that someone gave me when I first became a mom was--from the very beginning, you are teaching your child not to need you. The more I parent and the more I fall in the love with my children, the more I desire to give them this gift.

It can be challenging though--to love them the way they need to be loved and not to love them in order to meet my own needs as a mom.

I've been reading CS Lewis' The Four Loves, and it is reminding me of this old, but simple truth--it's not about me.

I guess more than anything I pray that I would teach them that they need Jesus; I hope I don't get in the way.


  1. I think it starts with your eyes open to this process and a deep desire to parent in a God-honoring way. He will take your attempts (feeble or strong) and make it work! Fun to watch you do this Aleisha!

  2. Aleisha-
    "Did you write this one just for me?" says the mother of two daughters ages 22 and 18.
    This might be my most favorite post yet! You are wise beyond your years and I love you dearly.